I strongly believe that the answer to the question, “Why are kids are so rude today?” is a complex one, driven largely by today's society, new technology, the entertainment industry, peer pressure, the school system, and the fact that many adults do not practice good manners to begin with. Many children today are raised in single-parent households (usually with full-time working moms), and end up being raised by day care and services like San Diego's "6 to 6" Extended School Day Program. We consider ourselves lucky if we get approved for those programs because we are so busy with our careers, and often we’re focused on just paying the bills.
I am a well-traveled European American with international clients (some even from Saudi Arabia, where we might think religion would play a large role in teaching manners to children), and I see this phenomenon everywhere.
As a concerned mom, I was really bothered about certain behaviors in today's generation, and that is what triggered my motivation to develop my etiquette consultancy business. We all know that children mimic the behaviors they see, and that they are greatly influenced by their role models, both good and bad. It is our job to make sure they can distinguish between the two.
The saying that “good manners start at home” is true—everything else comes second. If the children have a strong fundamental support system and great role models to mimic, they won't be as easily influenced by the entertainment and sports industries or the lack of responsibility we sometimes find in the school system.
Just like all of us, children want what they know. If they don’t know how to succeed by demonstrating good manners, etiquette, soft skills, and proper behavior, they won't be able to reach their full potential in life. But they are too young to comprehend that, and that's why I think we, the adults, need to take full responsibility, one child at the time.
My concept for teaching manners is:
It is never too early to introduce good manners to children, and these lessons need to be reinforced on a daily basis. Children won't just pick up good manners; persistence is the key. The more persistent and “annoying” we are as parents, teachers, and role models, the better.
“Thank you,” “please,” and “you’re welcome” are the essentials, along with good table manners. It is very difficult to break old habits, so it’s better to create new good ones instead. For example, most families eat in front of the television. This has to change. The dinner table is a place for bonding, communication, and learning how to eat appropriately.
In my practice, I’ve found that when people hear the word “etiquette,” they perceive it as something fancy, a topic reserved for affluent households with ballroom dancing and white gloves. In reality, etiquette is “The Sharpest Soft Skill of the 21st Century” (which is also the title of my upcoming book).
I’ve created a program that works with children from underprivileged neighborhoods. Many parents in these difficult circumstances have more pressing priorities than sending their kids to learn about table manners or the history of etiquette, but I believe that everyone should know how to present themselves well and to know to use a knife and fork properly. I often say, “It doesn't matter where we’re coming from; it matters where we’re going to.”
Well-mannered, respectful, nicely groomed children won't be as easily influenced by the bad behavior they see all around them throughout society, because they’ll already know better. Their self-esteem will be greater, they will know how to resist peer pressure, and they’ll know how to handle negativity with grace and to be classy from a very young age. It is our responsibility to help them build their own set of high moral standards and develop the strong sense of good manners which will give them a competitive edge throughout their live.
P.S. Please feel free to share your opinion regarding the above matter. What do you think? Are the kids ruder than before or it is just me? You can always contact me at imanorofmanners@yahoo.com
Maryanne Parker is the founder of Manor of Manners www.manorofmanners.com , company for Business, Social and Youth Etiquette in San Diego, CA.
I am a well-traveled European American with international clients (some even from Saudi Arabia, where we might think religion would play a large role in teaching manners to children), and I see this phenomenon everywhere.
As a concerned mom, I was really bothered about certain behaviors in today's generation, and that is what triggered my motivation to develop my etiquette consultancy business. We all know that children mimic the behaviors they see, and that they are greatly influenced by their role models, both good and bad. It is our job to make sure they can distinguish between the two.
The saying that “good manners start at home” is true—everything else comes second. If the children have a strong fundamental support system and great role models to mimic, they won't be as easily influenced by the entertainment and sports industries or the lack of responsibility we sometimes find in the school system.
Just like all of us, children want what they know. If they don’t know how to succeed by demonstrating good manners, etiquette, soft skills, and proper behavior, they won't be able to reach their full potential in life. But they are too young to comprehend that, and that's why I think we, the adults, need to take full responsibility, one child at the time.
My concept for teaching manners is:
It is never too early to introduce good manners to children, and these lessons need to be reinforced on a daily basis. Children won't just pick up good manners; persistence is the key. The more persistent and “annoying” we are as parents, teachers, and role models, the better.
“Thank you,” “please,” and “you’re welcome” are the essentials, along with good table manners. It is very difficult to break old habits, so it’s better to create new good ones instead. For example, most families eat in front of the television. This has to change. The dinner table is a place for bonding, communication, and learning how to eat appropriately.
In my practice, I’ve found that when people hear the word “etiquette,” they perceive it as something fancy, a topic reserved for affluent households with ballroom dancing and white gloves. In reality, etiquette is “The Sharpest Soft Skill of the 21st Century” (which is also the title of my upcoming book).
I’ve created a program that works with children from underprivileged neighborhoods. Many parents in these difficult circumstances have more pressing priorities than sending their kids to learn about table manners or the history of etiquette, but I believe that everyone should know how to present themselves well and to know to use a knife and fork properly. I often say, “It doesn't matter where we’re coming from; it matters where we’re going to.”
Well-mannered, respectful, nicely groomed children won't be as easily influenced by the bad behavior they see all around them throughout society, because they’ll already know better. Their self-esteem will be greater, they will know how to resist peer pressure, and they’ll know how to handle negativity with grace and to be classy from a very young age. It is our responsibility to help them build their own set of high moral standards and develop the strong sense of good manners which will give them a competitive edge throughout their live.
P.S. Please feel free to share your opinion regarding the above matter. What do you think? Are the kids ruder than before or it is just me? You can always contact me at imanorofmanners@yahoo.com
Maryanne Parker is the founder of Manor of Manners www.manorofmanners.com , company for Business, Social and Youth Etiquette in San Diego, CA.