Emotional intelligence – an inborn characteristic or a skill?
Since I was a teenager, I've been fascinated by the topic of emotional Intelligence (EI). I recognized very early the differences in people and how they react in certain situations. I realized, even at a young age, that some people do have this high level of “sensitivity”—what Psychology Today calls, “Emotional awareness, including the ability to identify your own emotions and those of others.” (https://www.psychologytoday.com/basics/emotional-intelligence)
Many times we refer to the way we act simply as common sense, but it’s easy to see that EI is not actually a common practice, and as we know, common sense is not that common.
What is Emotional Intelligence?
We all have read by now that high EI capacity is the key factor that opens doors to success, not just the level of your IQ. I agree completely: many people have impressive degrees without a high level of EI, and some people, like Tony Robbins—one of the most influential motivational speakers of all time--don't have traditional higher degrees, but they have PhDs in results.
There are 4 components of EI:
Self-awareness – you need to be able to challenge yourself to get the results you want to achieve. There’s a reason why self-awareness is one of the most crucial elements. To be able to communicate with others, you need to know who you really are.
Self-management – take control of your emotions, don’t lose patience, don’t react angrily, and don’t be vindictive about situations
Social awareness – this is your exposure to the world around you.
Relationship management – meet people with purpose: to build them up, become genuinely interested in them, and influence them in a positive way.
Are we born with this “sensitivity” called Emotional Intelligence?
I personally think we are born with it. But I also believe that a certain level of Emotional Intelligence can be developed and reinforced. Let’s face it; this is the crucial ability to communicate in a proper way and to socialize with people. I teach Etiquette. Modern-day etiquette doesn't necessarily involve ballroom dancing and white gloves, but it does require the ability to be civil and make other people feel at ease. Thus, there is a very strong connection between EI and Etiquette. And like EI, Etiquette can be learned and serve you with the same success. Components of Emotional Intelligence carry over quite well when you’re discussing Etiquette:
Perceiving emotions – body language and facial expressions
Using your emotions to prioritize properly
Understanding emotions – being polite and well-mannered, and relating to other people’s emotions.
The ability to manage emotions effectively – with class and grace.
Possessing Emotional Intelligence doesn't change the effort required
Sometimes being aware of the fact that you possess a high EI capacity can hold you back in a way, because you might have the confidence that even without putting in much work, you still can get ahead. Not true. The secret is to combine your EI with hard work, and then you will be unstoppable!
Since I was a teenager, I've been fascinated by the topic of emotional Intelligence (EI). I recognized very early the differences in people and how they react in certain situations. I realized, even at a young age, that some people do have this high level of “sensitivity”—what Psychology Today calls, “Emotional awareness, including the ability to identify your own emotions and those of others.” (https://www.psychologytoday.com/basics/emotional-intelligence)
Many times we refer to the way we act simply as common sense, but it’s easy to see that EI is not actually a common practice, and as we know, common sense is not that common.
What is Emotional Intelligence?
We all have read by now that high EI capacity is the key factor that opens doors to success, not just the level of your IQ. I agree completely: many people have impressive degrees without a high level of EI, and some people, like Tony Robbins—one of the most influential motivational speakers of all time--don't have traditional higher degrees, but they have PhDs in results.
There are 4 components of EI:
Self-awareness – you need to be able to challenge yourself to get the results you want to achieve. There’s a reason why self-awareness is one of the most crucial elements. To be able to communicate with others, you need to know who you really are.
Self-management – take control of your emotions, don’t lose patience, don’t react angrily, and don’t be vindictive about situations
Social awareness – this is your exposure to the world around you.
Relationship management – meet people with purpose: to build them up, become genuinely interested in them, and influence them in a positive way.
Are we born with this “sensitivity” called Emotional Intelligence?
I personally think we are born with it. But I also believe that a certain level of Emotional Intelligence can be developed and reinforced. Let’s face it; this is the crucial ability to communicate in a proper way and to socialize with people. I teach Etiquette. Modern-day etiquette doesn't necessarily involve ballroom dancing and white gloves, but it does require the ability to be civil and make other people feel at ease. Thus, there is a very strong connection between EI and Etiquette. And like EI, Etiquette can be learned and serve you with the same success. Components of Emotional Intelligence carry over quite well when you’re discussing Etiquette:
Perceiving emotions – body language and facial expressions
Using your emotions to prioritize properly
Understanding emotions – being polite and well-mannered, and relating to other people’s emotions.
The ability to manage emotions effectively – with class and grace.
Possessing Emotional Intelligence doesn't change the effort required
Sometimes being aware of the fact that you possess a high EI capacity can hold you back in a way, because you might have the confidence that even without putting in much work, you still can get ahead. Not true. The secret is to combine your EI with hard work, and then you will be unstoppable!